helping

i've chat logs with my friends, at that time, i felt like i dont know what to do anymore, then she said something that really help myself up and believe in my self that i could face the truth, well then i dont use my real friend's name so i changed it into 'B' see this:

B: hey tasy

tasya: hey

B: lagi ngaps?

tasya: merenung -_-

B: have fun with your life lah tasy

tasya: hhh i can not!

tasya: blm kebiasa kali ya

B: like me, i'm free and happy! VERY HAPPY

B: tapi lo belom putus kan tasy
tasya: you are, i've got a long relationship with him, how could i forget him for so fast?
ngga!! jangan!!!

B: iya iya ampun

B: lo nyanyi aja don't forget nya demi lovato sambil joget2 nangis di kamar

tasya: ahhaahah
kamu tau aja
dont forget sesuai bgt
parah nt aku nangis lg itumah
ga bisa joget

B: nangis + joget = unik

tasya: hiii engga mauuu

B: haahhaha

B: hahaha

tasya: yaaa memang

tasya: haahah

B: ngomongin apa yuk tasy

tasya: apaa?

B: hhhmmm hot guyz

B: sexy gurlz (like me)

tasya: -_-
cukup!

B: haha ha ha ha

tasya: ah km deh
hahaha

B: hahahahahaha

B: "lucu" banget tasy... "imutz"

tasya: hihi iyalaaah
kaya aku gt kan

tasya:hwihihi

B: mulai nih anak satu dua tiga ayoooo

tasya: jangan marah ah
ayo apa -_-

B: ayo lets go to the disco

tasya: no way, im not in my mood

B: lets go to the disco with ... so i can punch him in the face for hurting my friend

tasya: if i really could meet him at the disco i would like to hug him maybe -_- long time no see, 3 months. what do you think about my feeling

B: lo pasti lagi ngerasa kayak kegantung gitu, bingung, kesel, emosi, dll

tasya: yea of course

to be continue abisan

B: kasian

tasya: dan dia kaya ga ada niat buat nyelesain masalah ini

B: sabar ya
iya sih

tasya: i really have to :')

B: tapi di chatlog lo tapi dia terlalu jujur kalo gw bilang
mestinya dia gak banyak ngomong tapi banyak bertindak

B: HAHAHA kata2 gw keren

tasya: how could, yesterday he hang out with his friend, in fact i did not meet him for 3 monthssssss -_-

tasya: it's ok for me but he better chose his friend than me, when actually he could meet his friends everyday wherever he wants!!!! how about me?

B: aaaww

B: mungkin dia juga lagi bingung terus lagi pengen curhat sama temennya tentang lo
mungkin

tasya: you really have to read my blog, have you? there's so many things about him i wrote in poems
ya ttg apa................ gue kenapa emang................. hhh

B: tapi you shouldn't be worrying lah tasy. he's a good boy
he really wants to make things right

tasya: how come? he hurts my feeling very often, did he know when i cry because of him!?

B: he should know and you should tell him

B: or maybe if he hurts you too often, well, maybe YOU should tell him that

tasya: i did, but he dont care AT ALL

should i end this thing? noooo, i dont want

B: well i know that you really care about him
but you should really learn to let things go
don't let him hurt you again and again

B: if it's better that way

tasya: i know he could go back like previously, someone who really natural and who i really love

B: you could tell him that you really need this natural guy
the guy that you really loved
especially right now

B: tell him that you NEED him tasy

tasya: then how about he doesnt care at me, he have seen like 'its a little thing, i should wait if she really wants to break up with me" does it see and not worth it at all especially if i hope that much

B: you are a hot sexy beautiful fun unique nice friendly girl tasy (okay -_-) don't make you life so depended on him

tasya: but my feeling now decide just for him, i cant share it for the other

B: don't make you look so immature

tasya: am i really look like that?

B: of course you do

tasya: oh god i dont want to be like that, he told me that he doesnt like that kind of person

B: so take a hold of your self
be a moture girl
i know you can

tasya: ya i know, but its not the time
maybe i should change
but how

B: what things that he doesn't like tasy?

tasya: im childish, he said

B: well tell him if he wanted to be with you he got to accept that
that's a part of you tasy

tasya: but he said im changed in recent times

B: well people change
that's how life goes
there are changes

tasya: ya i know, but dont you remember he couldnt accept me as well?

B: if he doesn't accept the new you
well i don't know

B: you can let go the real you and put on a mask

B: you know, a mask is like the person that you are not
if you are wearing a mask

B: then it's the same thing as lying to him

tasya: ya i know, but can i hold that up for a long time

B: showing the fake you

B: tapi itu bukan tasya yang bener
tasy

tasya: i knoooooooooow

B: serius deh

B: tapi untuk ngasih tau kalo lo gak childish, itu sama aja kayak boong sama dia
kesannya kayak cari muka gitu

B: itu bukan elo yang sebenernya
sifat childish lo itu emang sifat lo tasy

tasya: but he have said to me when i was about 1 month or 2 months with him, i've been that kind of person, mature. he want my old me

B: kalo gitu
lo kasih tau kedewasaan lo

B: dengan cara apa aja yang bisa lo lakuin

tasya: ya menurut lo apa

B: terserah lo tasy
gw kan emang dari sananya kayak anak blingsatan gitu

tasya: gue ngga bisa liat diri gue sendiri

B: tanya ke dia

B: dia mau kedewasaan lo dalam bentuk apa
cara ngomong apa tingkah laku

tasya: ya pasti semuanya laah
cara ngomonglah
inilah itulah

B:aaaaaaarrrrrgggghh

B:gw skrg jd emosi sendiri sama ...

well i know that you really care about him
but you should really learn to let things go
don't let him hurt you again and again (well i'll try this that's why i believe in myself)

well people change
that's how life goes
there are changes (do you believe if people changing aldo? YOU ARE CHANGING, then why you blame if it's all my fault? well you dont, but uptil now, i feel you do nothing, you dont do any of your promise, sorry for saying this. but i really felt that way. maybe i really really have to let you go, i'm ready for now)